


Dirty Little Secret

by Roucarnage



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Cowgirl Position, Dildo Dick, F/M, Genderbending, Headcanon, Lemon, NSFW, One Shot, Out of Character, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Puppet Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:49:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roucarnage/pseuds/Roucarnage
Summary: Deidara inquires on the downsides of being a puppet so Sasori decides to personally show her a certain thing that doesn’t require humanity.
Relationships: Sasori/Fem!Dei
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	Dirty Little Secret

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing a lot of Human Sasori but no Puppet Sasori so this was a little bit of a guilty pleasure. I've got a plan for a sequel too - that is, if I can kick my own butt to write it.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> p.s. no beta, too lazy to edit. Excuse any jank.

After spending three days— _three_ —on mission, through the muck and weather, Deidara was desperate for a long, hot bath once it was all over. Therefore, she let Sasori report back to Sir Leader, so she could take a scalding hot bath to warm herself and wash off the dirt and disgust that came with going three days without a wash break. An hour and having used all the hot water in the base later, the blonde was clean and warm.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, Sasori was in the room, seated at his desk with Hiruko laid out besides him like a dozing mutt. He didn’t acknowledge her as she walked to the bed to turn in for the night after going without sleep for three days straight during their mission, being preoccupied with whatever project he was labouring over now. She presumed it to be a puppet, as it always was, but didn’t steal a glimpse over his shoulder like she did at times, being too tired to be curious. Maybe a little curious, but not about puppets—or yes, puppets. She was so tired her brain wasn’t making sense anymore.

“Danna, can I ask a curious question, hn?” She asked as she sat down on her mattress, using a hand towel to pat dry the wet patches of blonde hair so they didn’t gnarl while she slept.

“You just did.”

It took her a minute to catch his jest, but once she did, she frowned. “Ok, can I ask you another question, hn?”

“You just did.” She practically heard his smile in that one.

She glared at him. Bastard. “I’m going to ask you a question, hn!”

“You’ve asked me two.” Deidara just let out a frustrated sigh while Sasori grinned to himself, cranking a screw.

“I was going to ask: is there anything you miss about being human, hn?”

“No.”

“Like nothing?”

“No.”

“Sleeping?”

“Nope.”

“Eating?”

“Nah.”

“ _Sex?_ ”

“Oh please. You don’t think I can’t pleasure a shelia as a puppet?” The implication made Deidara take a pause as she stared at Sasori, horrified, which made Sasori bark with laughter when he felt her disturbed gaze. “Made you curious, did I?”

Her face, pink from the cold, flushed crimson as she glanced away, trying to think too deeply into it. “N-No!”

Sasori kept on cackling at her. “Oh yes I did. You can tell me, brat, I ain’t goinen to judge you. I could show you how.” His blonde partner ignored him and smuggled herself under her blanket, desperate for sleep and to leave this conversation. “Don’t be like that.”

“N-No!”

Sasori muttered a disappointed noise as he turned back to his puppet. “Well, maybe I’ll do it anyway.”

Instead, entertaining him further with her overdramatic reactions, she was out like a light in the midst of the scabbling. She expected to wake up the next evening after a twenty-four-hour slumber.

…

Unfortunately, her dead sleep was disturbed prematurely the next morning as she nudged back to consciousness, interrupting the dream she was having of an attractive male actor from a movie she saw. She blinked her heavy eyes open and immediately had a borderline heart attack as she woke up to her partner’s dead eyes staring at her, his face inches from her own, making her flinch and clench her sleeping shirt as her heart hammered in her chest from the scare.

“Fuck…Danna!” She gasped, pushing herself onto her elbow and turning her hearing devices back on. “You…scared me, hn!”

Sasori straightened up from his position where he had hunching beside the bed for the last hour, waiting for his partner to naturally wake up then becoming increasingly impatient when she didn’t. “You sleep too much, brat.”

“Well excuse me but I’m human so I have to sleep, hn!”

“Oh yes, speaken of which: do you remember that lil’ conversation we had last night?” He inquired, receiving a dead stare in reply as Deidara’s brain was waking up from the middle of its RAM cycle. “When you said I couldn’t do things as a puppet?”

Oh god, _that_ conversation. She wished she could forget it. “I tried to forget, hn.” She deadpanned.

He grinned at her, obviously proud of himself at that. “Yes. Well, I’ve made you a surprise.”

“A surprise, hn?” She asked, nervously. She never was one for surprises, especially for any Sasori gave her.

“Yes, would you like to have it?”

Deidara swallowed thickly, her throat clicking. Oh yes, everything was coming back to her now. “Umm…I…”

“Don’t be up yourself, brat.”

Uh, she was too sleep hungover for this. “Ok, ok! Just show me it so I can go back to sleep, hn!”

“It isn’t somethen I can show you, per say, as much as somethen you have to… _experience.”_

She was starting to suspect exactly what this “surprise” he had for her was as she gifted him the blankest of blank stares. “Danna, did you make yourself a puppet dick?” He didn’t reply, just smiled that brand shit-eating smile of his and his partner blanched. “You did! I knew it! That’s disgusting!”

“Tch, no it ain’t, brat. It ain’t any different than a dildo.”

“It is so different, hn!”

“Tell me how then.” He demanded and she didn’t have an answer, her brain too exhausted to think up anything else besides chanting “sleep” over and over again. “Exactly. Listen, you were curious if I could have sex as a puppet, an’ I want to show you that I can.”

“With _me?_ ”

“Yes, whoelse? I did this for you, afterall.”

Deidara would be complimented, if she wasn’t so squeamish at the thought. “I…”

It was obvious Sasori was getting impatient at this point (when wasn’t he?) as he let out a huff, magically without functional lungs. “I was just answeren your question, but if you’re not into that, then I’m not goen to push you into it, Deidara. Just know I _could_ an’ _would_ have.”

Again, the blonde didn’t reply but the thing was, she _was_ curious—as curious as one would be putting their hand on a hot stove to see if it would burn them but curious, nonetheless. But it only took one time, right? Was she seriously justifying letting Sasori fuck her with a puppet dick or dildo or whatever else it was? Yes, yes she was. Damn, this is what happened when she didn’t get enough sleep.

So, as the redhead pushed himself up to walk back to his desk, she interrupted him. “W-Wait!” Sasori paused, not looking at her just waiting with his arms crossed and fingers tapping on his upper arm. Deidara fidgeted with her blanket. “It’ll be like…a one and done thing, hn?”

“Don’t see why we’d have to do it again. That is, unless you _want_ to do it again.” She couldn’t see his smirking, but she sure as hell could hear it, the smug bastard. “It could be our dirty, lil’ secret.” It better be because like hell she was ever telling anyone about this.

To this, she yielded with the heftiest of sighs. “Just once, hn…”

“Lay back down then.” She did as told, giving no argument since she had given him her permission, and laid back down while he pulled the comforter off her where it crumpled onto the floor. He then climbed onto the mattress, leant heavily over her with his hands cemented on either side of her head and seated between her legs. “Ah yes, it’s all comen back to me now.”

“You’re heavy, Danna.” Deidara mumbled, face blushing red as she stared elsewhere except his face which was now hung inches from hers.

“Tch, what do you expect, brat? I’m made of wood an’ metal.” He chaffed. “Now, how’re you feelen?”

“Umm…tired still, I guess.”

“I meant are you turned on?”

She flushed a little. “N-No…not yet.”

“Then let’s change that, shall we?” While he said this, he dragged a hand down her cheek and arm then over her belly and—the blonde squeaked as it landed square between her legs and she kicked the intrusive hand away as she scrambled backwards from him until her back pressed flush to the backboard. “What? You don’t like that?”

“I…I-I can do it myself!”

“Then do it,” He said, pushing himself off her bed and fell back into his chair, grasping the armrests and staring at her, unblinking.

This flustered her further. “Y-You can’t look!”

“Oh brat, I’m goen to fuck you but you don’t want me to watch you masturbate?”

“N-No! And don’t say it like that, hn!”

“Fine, fine. I’ll make a few last second improvements in the meantime. Just tell me when you’re done.” With a wave of his hand, he pivoted back towards his desk to do these “last second improvements” while purposely angling himself so she couldn’t have a sneak peek of her “surprise”.

Once Sasori was faraway, Deidara set herself back onto the center of the mattress with her hand falling onto the pillow and after getting comfortable—and double checking her partner wasn’t having a gander—she pushed one hand into her underwear and one under her top. While her hand sucked on her breast, the other immediately went down on her, enthusiastic and slavering but like a professional. She gnawed on her lip, so she wasn’t too loud while huffing heavily through her nose and trembling. It didn’t take her too long to start feeling it—giving yourself oral sex did that—but so close, she didn’t want to stop—couldn’t stop, despite the fact she had only done this to get wet—and wet she was.

Suddenly, her arm was snatched, and hand pulled from her pants, leaving her palmmouth gasping like a fish out of water, a statement which she mimicked as she saw Sasori now standing over her. She tried pulling her hand from him so she could finish what she started but his clutch was hard.

“Mmph…D-Danna…”

He smirked at her. “Ain’t goen to wait for me, brat?”

“H-Hurry up then! I was so close, hn…”

“You of all people should know better than to tell me to hurry up.”

Grabbing her other arm, he pressed them over her head while his freehand tugged at her pants, pulling them and her underwear down then discarding them to the floor. His hand drew back up her leg and while he couldn’t feel it, he liked the way she gasped and shuddered when her purposely dragged his digits over her sex. He could _hear_ how wet she was which encouraged him not to idle any longer as he next pushed down his own slacks. Deidara tried to look but didn’t see much and didn’t understand why he was trying so hard to mask his extravagant puppet-dildo-dick. That was, until it was inside her and instantly, she understood why he was so hellbent because if she had seen it beforehand, she would have never, _ever_ let him put it in her. If he didn’t have her hands held down, she would’ve pushed him off. Instead, she whimpered as he pushed into her for what felt like an eternity, stretching and tearing her. Once it was all inside her, she wheezed out a harsh breath and gasped for oxygen, feeling winded.

“I…what…w-why is it…h-how big did you make it, hn!?” She finally heaved out.

“’The human vagina can measure a depth between three and seven inches with a diameter of an inch to three.’ So that, an’ a lil’ more.” He shrugged.

“Why…why is it spiked!?”

“Not spiked, ribbed—for your pleasure.” 

“Not…pleasured.” She rasped out; head pushed back into the pillow and eyes squeezed shut.

“Just take a breather. I can wait, this one time.” Finally, he let go of her hands though she kept them over her head, too weak at the moment to do anything else.

While she had her breather, she practically felt her partner’s gaze drilling into her skull and peeked an eye open to confirm the redhead’s dead-eyed staring at her like he wanted to turn her into a puppet—or eat her, either or.

“Why do you have to stare so much, hn?” She mumbled, trying to ignore him and the aching between her legs.

“What do you want me to do instead, brat?”

“I don’t know! Just no staring, hn!” Even in the midst of coitus, the two of them couldn’t quit bickering, it appeared. This was a bad idea, outside the obvious.

Taking her input, Sasori awkwardly brushed his hand through her blonde mane as if petting a cat while being cautious not to snare the fibers between the joints of his fingers. Deidara hated to say it but it kind of felt good as she unconsciously leant her head into his hand, backing the feline likeness he imaged. It stupefied her that a person as brutal as him could also be so gentle.

“You like that?” It was an authentic question, no sarcasm as he kept petting her hair while he tried to imagine what it felt like; if felt as silken as it looked or maybe like fleece?

“Maybe.” She murmured, though it came out purr-like. He scratched her scalp and this time, she did purr.

“You feelen better?”

“Yeah.”

“Brilliant, so we can get started then.”

“Sure…” She said, hesitantly.

“Trust me, you’re gonna like this. I made it special for you. Ready?” Though, he didn’t gift her the chance to reply. All of sudden, the dildo inside her whirled to life and Deidara yelped out, lurching off the mattress in surprise as she was wracked with deep vibrations. Sasori laughed at her immediate reaction. “You like that, brat?”

“W-What!?” Was all she managed out, grabbing his shoulders to hug herself against him as she angled her hips, so she didn’t cum instantly from the overstimulation.

“It can vibrate,” He obviously said, pushing into her and she belted out a loud moan. “You like it?”

“T-Too much! Too much!”

“Tch, fine, fine,” With a spark of chakra into the phallic attachment, the harsh vibrating turned down two levels into the weakest pulse and Deidara fell back into the bed as her muscles relaxed. “Better?”

“Yes.” She sighed.

“So sensitive.” Sasori taunted her with a smirk. “You like this? Or do you want it harder?”

“No, this is fine, hn.” He just grunted his acknowledgement of her reply and started thrusting.

It was awkward in the beginning as due to being a puppet, Sasori had no sense of his own strength or if she was liking it. So, he had read her features for any context clues to the latter which required staring, a lot of staring; staring that Deidara did not like as it pulled her out of the moment and whatever pleasure she may be feeling was overwritten by displeasure.

“Danna, you’re staring again, hn…” She mumbled, trying to ignore him and concentrate on the little sparks and crackles of pleasure that came and went due to his haphazard thrusting. Not even the vibrations were helping.

“I’m just tryen to see if you’re liken this, brat.” He disputed with equal frustration.

“I am, just…”

“Just what?”

“You’re not…I don’t know, doing it right? Like, it’s all wrong, hn!”

“I’m doen my best with what I’ve got. I can’t exactly _feel_ what I’m doen!” He snapped at her, starting to question himself what he ever thought of doing this.

“I get that! I’m not insulting you, Danna. It just doesn’t feel right is all I’m saying, hn.”

“If it’s so bad, then maybe you should so it yourself?”

“Wha—?” She didn’t finish as he grappled her arms.

Suddenly, with a sidewards hurls of his weight, Sasori had flipped them over so he was laid on the bed with Deidara straddling him. She hated to say but it took her a moment too long for it to click as to what the puppeteer just did, but once it did, she didn’t balk any further before she started bobbing herself on him. It took a bit of testing and wriggling to find a pattern, but once she did, she was beginning to see herself getting used to this, even liking it—a lot.

Chocolate orbs observed as the blonde fucked herself on him with his guidance by the way he held her hips, so she didn’t fall off him. He didn’t want to do nothing but play wooden pony, so everytime she thrusted herself downward, he’d thrust up into her. She must’ve liked this because finally she was starting to get loud, moaning and mewling. This just egged him on. Oh yes, it was all starting to come back to him now. When was the last time he had a beautiful woman cowgirling herself on him? Must’ve been surplus of a decade. Why hadn’t he thought of doing this earlier?

“You want it higher?” He asked her, implying the vibration function of the dildo.

“Yes.” She immediately said.

With just a little bit of chakra, the vibrations sped up and Deidara vocalized her approval of this with a drawn-out moan. She plastered her hands on his chest to bear her weight as she rode him harder and faster. Seeing she didn’t need his help, Sasori let go off her waist but not wanting idle hands, he lifted her top up over her breasts to play with them while his other hand fingered her, much to her bliss.

“So, brat? What’re you thinken?”

“Mmmhmm…I l-like it…I like it a lot!” She stammered out betwixt whimperish moans.

He chuckled. “I knew you would.” Then, without, asking he turned the vibrator up onto its last and highest setting and this time, the terrorist welcomed it with an exhilarated exclamation of, “oh yes!”.

In the beginning, Deidara was questioning herself why she had ever agreed to doing this but now, she was castigating herself for not doing it sooner. The length and thickness of it was perfect, the vibrating feature made left her sensitive and burning hot and the spikes—ribbing was… _yes._ It rubbed everything, including her g-spot. It was all perfect. So, imagine her disappointment when she started to feel her orgasm coming on which she did not want, yet. For once, she wanted something to last forever. Was this Sasori’s scheme all along?

“Oi brat,” The devil himself spoke up. He had caught onto the telltale signs of her climax by the grimace of her facial features and desperation in her movements. “Tell me when you cum. I’ve got one last feature I want to show you.” She nodded instead of speaking, splashing the sweat rivering down her face and greasing her scalp.

Being the impatient man he was, he thankfully wouldn’t have to wait long as he cottoned onto the involuntary twitching of her muscles and frantic wheezing of her breath. She was close so he decided to give her that last nudge as he tweaked her clit, and it was just enough. With fractured gasp, she came, quaked and hard. It wasn’t a fast one either as the harsh vibrations against her cervix dragged it out and due to her muscles shackling up, she couldn’t push herself up off it and thus, leaving her helpless. She couldn’t even think of the words to plead Sasori to turn it off as her brains were scrambled in her head like a blender. Sasori, meanwhile, watched as she came for several seconds before getting bored and decided to introduce her to the last feature of his faux penis.

All of sudden, there was warm, wetness pumping into her and Deidara gasped out. If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve said he just…? Finally— _finally_ —the vibrations ceased as the redhead turned the device off and immediately, the blonde crumpled on top of him, panting and trembling all over.

“W-What? What? What did you…?”

“Relax. It’s just a water-based lubricant.” He told her, knowing the source of her confusion. “Thought I’d add it to make the experience a lil’ more…realistic for you. So, what are your final thoughts?”

“I—uhh…I-I liked it…”

“A lot, so I heard,” He chuckled, much to her chagrin. “Is this somethen you may be interested in doen again?”

Her face flushed as she kept it smuggled in his chest. “I…well…maybe…?”

“Brilliant. So, I can make any improvements for the next time. Perhaps maken it larger? Or adden more ribben? Hmm…what’re your thoughts on double penetration?”

“W-What!?”


End file.
